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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in The world according to Colin Creevey's LiveJournal:

Sunday, July 24th, 2005
8:21 pm
[paparazzi_colin]
Special edition.
The world according to Colin Creevey.

Special edition dedicated to the memory of Albus Dumbledore.

I doubt that there isn't a wizard on earth who in some way wasn't affected by Albus Dumbledore.
Unless of course you count those wizards who were born and died before Dumbledore came along, but I bet a wizard as powerful as Dumbledore could have affected them by using time travel if he hadn't have been killed.
Nether less we have entered a new era in history, an era without Dumbledore.

The world will be a grave place now that he's gone. For example he alone abolished the use of the torture chamber during detention and now without him Filch will be able to exercise all his sadistic pleasures in poor unsuspecting students.

Dumbledore also protected us from the onslaught of you know who, without him we will have to return to a mere closeted boy with anger management issues to save us.

And where will we be without he's ever lasting presence and his snappy sense of style? Instead of being led by a wizard who knows how to wear purple robes we will be led by a witch who still desperately clings onto tartan.

Finally I think that we shall miss the little things, we shall miss the gentle way he told us we couldn't murder other students no matter how stupid they were.
We will miss his almost scary obsession with baths, his interesting Halloween costumes and his perfect spelling and grammar.

Above every thing else we will miss Dumbledore. But fear not for we know that death doesn't always mean the end, he may be gone but he will never be forgotten. Hopefully he is somewhere (preferably a place with a giant bath) and he is at peace.

Current Mood: sad
Sunday, June 19th, 2005
11:11 am
[paparazzi_colin]
The world according to Colin Creevey Issue 9: Volume 1

So sorry for the delay everyone but I’ve been busy studying for the OWLS which have now turned out to be a complete and utter waste of time!!!

HANNDICAP DISCRIMINATION!!!

Recently the Hogwarts exam protocols have been forced to go under question, how do the examiners deal with students who are in fact disabled?
As every one knows students are required to take several practical exams, which involve the use of wand waving and incantations.
But what of the students who have no voice? Unless you are seventh level mage from a dungeon dimension usually you do need to be able to speak in order to perform a spell.

Students who have lost their voices by inhaling potions fumes, getting drunk or just having an evil best friend who thinks it’s ok to crush voice boxes are fundamentally screwed when it comes to the exams.
This journalist went undercover in order to discover what it’s like to be handicapped in this way and forced to do exams.

Typed version of recorded transcript.

Examiner: Now we’ll be seeing student Colin Mathew Creevey, come this way young man.

Examiner 2: He’s awfully quiet isn’t he? Must be nervous.

Marcia: Go on Colin that’s you! Good luck!!!!

(Feeble protesting sounds, shuffling of feet ECT, ECT

Examiner 1: Now Mr. Creevey perform for us a cheering charm.

(There is an awkward tense silence)

Examiner 1: Mr. Creevey I will repeat, perform for us a cheering charm!

Examiner 2: See I told you he’s nervous! He keeps making that gulping sound while waving his wand about! Poor boy…

(There is a sudden whooshing sound followed by several hysterical screams)

Marcia: My hair!! My hair!! He’s set my hair on fire!! Oh merlin do something please!!!

Peter: Don’t worry Marcia I’ll handle this!!

Marcia: WHAT??? NOOO PUT YOUR WAND DOWN!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALCHOHOL IS FLAMABLE!!!!!!

Examiner 1: That boy set that girls hair on fire, very impressive but it’s not a cheering charm.

Examiner 2: Yes we’ll have to deduct some points for that, what is he trying to say?

Examiner 1: I think it’s some form of Muggle sign language, I saw this once in a paper while I was studying in France.. It’s very primitive!

Examiner 1: Sorry Mr. Creevey we cannot understand you! Could some one please take that sobbing girl out of here?

As you can see the examiners are appalling when it comes to dealing with handicapped students! This journalist believes that they should learn sign language immediately or that Ginny Weasley should be locked up until she is no longer evil and capable of crushing voice boxes.
Whichever is easiest!

Current Mood: bitchy
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005
1:28 pm
[paparazzi_colin]
Photo of a tree in my mums garden.

Photo of fat Alicia.

Photo of my cousin Emma, taken in mums garden.

Current Mood: DONE!!!
1:27 pm
[paparazzi_colin]
Photo of my dad holding the neighbors cat Midnight!!

Photo of the gold lion statue outside my familys favourite chinese resturant!!

Photo of my dad on his moter bike, taken at the end of the street.

Photo of my EX best friend.

Current Mood: still busy!
1:18 pm
[paparazzi_colin]


Photo of Vincent Crabbe, taken while dancing.

photo of building in the city.

Current Mood: busy
Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
9:26 pm
[paparazzi_colin]
WHOSE RUNNING HOGWARTS?

This is the question all students at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry have been forced to answer ever since all the teachers and adult staff mysteriously disappeared from school grounds.
So far the whereabouts of the faculty is unknown but it has been confirmed by numerous sources that time travel is involved.

At the moment there are no senior staff members in the school at all, the oldest person here being a hufflepuff seventh year Cedric Diggory.
A Zombie student aged roughly 18-19 years old who is currently repeating school after being dead for a year.
So the question is what are the students at Hogwarts supposed to do in an adult free school filled with crying infants?

So far there have been three suggestions, one is that we contact the ministry of magic but it has been pointed out that this will result in Umbitch returning in order to enforce her own special brand of discipline across the school.
Another option includes voting for a new leader of the school to replace our head master and allowing our prefects to take lessons.
Personally I believe that the candidates to run for this election include Cedric Diggory because he is the most senior student in the school and he survived being dead which shows his hard work really.
Another likely candidate would be Harry Potter, because he is after all the boy who lived and rumor has it that the law states that the boy who lived can run for any election he wants to without actually having any REAL experience.

However organizing an election will take far to much time, which currently we do not have. At the moment this school is currently being taken over by hooligans who are promoting drunken pro Nazi orgies while innocent children happen to be running about!!!

This brings us to the third suggestion.
Martial law.
Martial law is a muggle term used when the military temporarily rules a country during a time of civil unrest, because Hogwarts is currently without adult supervision I propose that the DA (otherwise known as Dumbledore’s army) enforce MARTIAL LAW.
After all our group has had the most experience when it comes to defending this school what with our leader being the boy who lived and several of already proving we are experienced baby sitters.

I also believe that all members of the DA should meet as soon as possible so we can discuss how exactly we will enforce martial law, I read a very interesting book once Lord of the Flies, well actually it was a pretty foul book but there was this bit where they enforced law by killing a fat stupid guy, if this really does work I think we should kill Goyle, no one would miss him.

But in the end it’s up to the school to decide which decision they want to make to ensure out future.
So please when you have the time, fill in this poll.

Current Mood: confused
Tuesday, December 28th, 2004
8:42 pm
[paparazzi_colin]
The World According to Colin Creevey : Special Christmas Edition.

And so it is Christmas, and as the beatles once put it..what have you done?
This timeless Christmas carol, first sung during the Victorian area at Queen Victoria's wedding day says so much about the meaning of the holidays.
You see Christmas and the new year isn't just about fantastic gifts ( I got these heaps mad old photo's, thanks Ginger!!!) it's also about a very important man.
A man who taught us all about forgiveness, charity and being a good person, yes it's the birthday of our beloved Santa Clause.

For you see it was Santa Clause who first came up with the whole concept of manipulating us into being better people, it was Santa who first came up with the concept of acting civilized in exchange for fantastic gifts.
It was his naughty and nice list that terrified us into behaving when we were little muggle children, and even though now we're old enough to know that theres no such thing as Santa we still live a little bit cautiously just in case.
So to thank Santa I've decided that I will apologies to the people I have wronged this year, that way I'll be preparing early to be on his GOOD list next year.

1: Blaise Zabini I apologize for calling you a freak, I was actually calling Pansy a freak but I've been informed ( by Vince) that I hurt your feelings, I'm not sure why this would hurt you exactly but I'm very sorry because you are a cool girl.
I mean your brothers kinda weird, but you are very cool!!! so sorry!!!

2: Dad I am sorry that I forgot to supervise Dennis on Christmas morning with his new whip like I promised, thus ending with you ending up in the um... emergency room... I was sort of um, distracted.

3: Frizt I am sorry about ripping your favorite shirt right before Christmas dinner, I will buy you a new one with some of the money granddad gave me for Christmas!!!

4: Lavender I am sorry that I called you a furry, you are not a furry, well you are, but you're not a sex furry!!!

5: Ginger I'm sorry that I called you crazy all those times, you're not crazy I mean you have anger management issues but that's different.

6: Padma um, sorry, yeah.

7: George sorry for saying I hated you, I don't, I love you man!!!!

8: Sorry for saying you're baby was a demon mum, I mean it probably is evil but that doesn't mean it's demonic.

Okay thats enough Christmas cheer for every one!!! sorry this article came out so late but what with the five stitches and the emergency room...and then Uncle Roger coming for dinner...
Well things have been hectic!!
Merry Christmas and a happy new Year every one!!
Is anyone having a New Years Party this year??? if not, do you want to go dancing Frizt???

Current Mood: happy
Monday, December 13th, 2004
9:47 pm
[paparazzi_colin]
The World According To Colin Creevey Issue Seven, Volume 1.

We all know Lavender Brown right? The cutesy perpetually cheerful sixth year with the Mousy Brown hair and impossibly huge collection of animal themed stationary?
We all love lavender; we all assumed that Lavender is without a doubt the nicest girl in Gryffindor.
She's kind to all creatures' great and small, perhaps a little to kind if you catch my drift.
For deep down underneath that sunny exterior there lays A SHAMEFULL SECRET, a secret that wills ROCK YOU TO THE CORE.
Lavender Brown is a FURRY.

Now I myself didn't know what a furry was until she told me she wanted to be one, then out of curiosity I decided to look them up on the internet.
Much to my horror I discovered that furies are some sort of weird animal/human hybrid that usually look like porn stars.
They are in fact FICTIONAL animals that have HUMAN TRAITS.
Furies can also be seen as fans of fictional animals THAT act like people.
Now at first I thought this was pretty sweet and innocent, I mean technically Simba and Nala in the Lion king sing Elton John songs which are some definite human traits.
I was about to write it all of as an obsession for Disney movies, but then much to my horror I discovered the darker side of FURRY FANDOM.
For you see some furries don't stop at watching these films they in fact gain SEXUAL PLEASURE through this human looking fictional animals.
They draw pornographic pictures of really weird dog women who happen to have giant breasts.
Some furry fans create fictional alter egos that they use in perverted role playing games.

Some in fact wear ANIMAL costumes while engaging in SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.
These pornographic elements are referred to as YIFF or SPOOGE.
In some extreme cases furies engage in SEXUAL intercourse with their stuffed toys!!
Now at first I couldn't believe Lavender would be involved in such a thing until I decided to interview her for this article.

Interview transcript. (Conducted on instant messenger)










Colin: YO
Lavender: Hi, Colin!!! ^_^
Lavender: Have you posted on your journal yet?
Colin: nooooo I only knew it was fixed!!!
Colin: I'm trying to write a story for my journalism thing and I wanted to interview you to get the facts!!!
Lavender: Okie-day!
Colin: Ok... oh god how do I put this, you said once you wanted to be a furry.. Is this true?
Lavender: Wow, I've never been interviewed before ^^"
Lavender: Sure! Oh, I'd love to be one. They're so cute and... And fuzzy! =^.^=
Lavender: Who wouldn't want to be a furry???
Colin: Oh.. um
Colin: Soooo do you derive pleasure from the thought of being a well furry?
Lavender: It makes me so very happy! Doesn't it just warm your knickers, Colin??? (:
Lavender: To spend my days frolicking about, with no worries!
Lavender: Or stupid papers to write for class *miff*
Colin: So that explains um the outfit you were wearing the other day, do you often dress like that>???
Lavender: My outfit???
Lavender: Oh! Did you see me in my bunny suit?
Lavender: That is one of my favourites!!!
Lavender: I just love fuzzy bunnies <3
Colin: Yes I saw you in that um suit when I was visiting Ginny
Lavender: They're just smashing, don't you think?
Colin: WELL ER that's not what I'd call it!!!!!!
Colin: so do you wear these bunny suits to make yourself feel good???
Lavender: Oh for sure! It's so nice and soft, just like a real bunny.
Lavender: Don't you like to pet bunnies, Colin?
Lavender: Aren't they nice and squishy?
Lavender: ^o^
Colin: um... not really
Lavender: O:
Colin: I like dogs more to tell you the truth; we have a fox terrier at home
Lavender: Oh, but dogs are nice, too!
Colin: So um how about stuffed animals... would you call yourself a plushie???
Lavender: The way they roll around... and get dirty!!!
Lavender: You know I'd have to think about that, Colin, gimme a second, will you??
Colin: um yeah sure
Colin: how about I ask some one else; do you believe you have some sort of animal spirit in you?
Lavender: I don't know about a particular animal spirit, Colin... I think I connect pretty well with all animals, from the proudest hippogriff to the cuddliest fox
Lavender: I don't know if I could be considered a plushie??? But I think they're awfully nice to squeeze!
Lavender: How about you?
Colin: Well Lavender I'm a bit old for soft toys
Colin:!!!!
Lavender: Oh... I guess when you grow up; it's just hard toys, huh?
Lavender: Like... robots?
Lavender: Do boys like robots?
Colin: Not exactly, I'm more of a big boy toy fan lavender
Colin: in fact NO I don't play with any toys at all!!!
Colin: AND I DONT OWN DOLLS no matter WHAT people might tell you!!!
Lavender: Oh... okay, then Colin
Lavender: I really recommend them though!
Lavender: They are great stress relievers!!!
Colin: Don't you think that some people might see your err... lifestyle as a bit unconventional???
Colin: or sick????
Lavender: Sick???
Lavender: I'm... confused. o.O
Colin: Well isn't it a bit weird to love animals in that way???
Lavender: I just live a normal happy lifestyle
Lavender: I mean, just because I love animals so much that I'd give up meat!
Lavender: Doesn't mean that I'm not healthy, Colin!!!
Lavender: I reSPECT animals
Lavender: They are cute
Lavender: And loveable
Lavender: And huggable, okay?
Colin: um.....
Colin: I think I just choked
Colin: I have no idea what to think right now
Colin: LAVENDER YOU NEED HELP
Lavender: Are you okay, Colin?
Lavender: What's wrong?
Lavender: Colin!
Colin: because it's wrong to love animals like that!!!! You need to relate to
Colin: REAL PEOPLE that way
Colin: NOT TO ANIMALS
Lavender: I think you need to sit in on a SPECT meeting and learn what it really is to love an animal!
Colin: OH GOD NO
Lavender: You don't care about anything but Ginger >:o
Lavender: Animals have feelings, too, okay!
Colin: THAT IS NOT IT AT ALL
Colin: AND I DO CARE ABOUT ANIMALS
Lavender: And those feelings can get hurt.
Colin: which is why I'm trying to help you!!!!
Lavender: That's why you have to show them as much love as possible!
Colin: you need to wake up and see reality lavender you cant do this to poor innocent creaturees!!!
Lavender: Colin, we need to band together so the world will stop disrespecting animals!
Lavender: Those poor creatures need us, Colin!!!
Lavender: They can't be left alone.
Lavender: There are many mean people out there, just waiting to do bad things to them.
Lavender: We need to get to the animals before those people!!!
Colin: But there is a right way of doing things lavender!!! And being a fury is NOT the right way
Lavender: Furries are the best thing in the world, a lot better than people who yell like you Colin ):
Colin: I AM NOT YELLING I AM MEERLY SHOCKED AND APPALLED
Colin: I THOUGHT YOU WERE A SANE GOOD PERSON LAVENDER BROWN
Lavender: Colin, stop being like Harry~!
Lavender: Please don't tell me you're going to eat babies or burn bunnies now???
Colin: OK Ginger spice would not be happy with me if I got angry with you
Lavender: Calm down, Colin!
Lavender: Chant my mantra with me
Colin: your a lost soul in need of help and guidance, I need to count to ten
Lavender: fuzzybunniesfuzzybunniesfuzzybunniesfuzzybunniesfuzzybunniesfuzzybunnies
Colin: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 20
Colin: 10
Colin: NOOOOOO
Lavender: Just say that to yourself over and over and you'll feel better, I swear!
Lavender: fuzzybunnies fuzzybunnies fuzzybunnies
Lavender: fuzzy bunnies
Lavender: Say with me now, Colin!
Colin: NOOOO
Lavender: Can you feel it???
Colin: oh god
Lavender: Fuzzy Bunnies!
Colin: I refuse to give into your metaphors
Lavender: Colin?
Colin: THATS IT I'M GOING good bye lavender!!!
Colin: cdsfat
Lavender: Colin!
Colin: * end of interview*
Lavender: Colin!
Lavender: ...Fuzzy bunnies?

End of interview.

Although at first I was horrified by Lavender's sexual tastes I soon realised she was a girl crying for help, obviously she is so desperate for love and support she finds herself turning towards inanimate objects, or well fictional make believe animals.
Ginger Spice has taught me the lesson of compassion and its my belief we need to help her before it's far, far too late.
She needs her friends to support he during this difficult phase, and to keep her away from all her stuffed animals.



Ms Brown in her fur suit.

Current Mood: shocked and appalled!!!
Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
11:28 am
[paparazzi_colin]
THiss weeks issue.
World according to Colin Creevey issue four volume 1

Gettingg betterr at typing, but cannot update with new article, found thiis old one on my hard drive.
Written before I discovered Ericc was an evill jerk.
Thiss weeks issue is proudly sponsored by the WWW.

Now we have all heard words thrown around concerning the junior DE's, animal sacrifices, satanic worship, setting fire to muggle babies, over use of hair styling products, general evilness, however this journalist decided ( well was forced to) uncover the truth.
I always assumed that I'd be greeted at a meeting by heathen concubines dancing naked in front of a ten foot tall demon named Gorath or something similar.
However on arriving all I found was a bunch of teenage Slytherins sitting about munching on cakes while discussing whose dating whom.
Well they were eating Devils food cake which speaks for itself, but it was still all very disappointingly.
While the DA club spends their time practicing hexes the Junior DE's spend their time eating cookie's while gossiping about boys!
Mainly they talk about whose fitter, some one named Mr Malfoy or the Dark Lord himself.
There were no animal sacrifices, well there was a dog running around but if anyone tried to sacrifice him he'd be kicked in their teeth.
In fact many members of the Junior DE gave me vaguely lost looks when I asked them what exactly they do during the meetings, the rest were busy trying to inhale scones.
Deciding that I wasn't getting enough information by just observing I decided to interview the newest member of the Junior De, Eric Weasley.

Interview transcript.

Colin: So Eric, how are you doing today?
eric: I'm rather good, thanks ...Colin, was it?
Colin: Yes I'm Colin, the little dancing boy, hmm
Alright my first question is, why did you decide to become a Junior Death Eater?
eric: I truly can't remember. I guess I signed up by accident when someone asked me if I would like to join. I believe it was the ...big Slytherin bloke. The one who's very enthusiastic about all this Dark Lord business.
I think he gave me a pamphlet in the Great Hall. It was a nice pamphlet. Green.
Colin: And that was the only thing that persuaded you to join?
eric: Well, curiosity of course. I mean, death eating! Doesn't it sound like the most fascinating thing there is? Death eating! Eating death, how do you eat death, do you boil it first? All these questions I just had to get answers for!
Colin: Eer Eric you do know that the word death eater is the name of a gang who believes in exterminating all muggles dont you? it has nothing to do with your diet!
eric: Er. What's a Muggle?
Oh, wait! I think I have a class called that.
The class that awfully nosy woman teaches. She's always going on about Muggles. Muggles, huh? Are they kept on a leash?
Colin: A muggle is a person who cant do magic Eric other then that they're perfectly normal people, my parents are muggles
eric Oh! Right, sorry. Muggles and dogs, always get those two words confused. Words with g's, you know how it is.
Okay, got it.
Colin: A MUGGLE ISNT A DOG, HOW DARE YOU!!! my god !!!
eric: Sorry, my mistake!
Colin: Well honestly!!!

Colin: Will you sacrifice yourself and the ones you love to Voldemort? As a journalist I must use proffesional conduct by saying his name although I don't like it.
eric: Well, I consider it better than not using his name. I mean, how do you suppose we would know who we're talking about if we didn't address him by his name? Anyway. Sacrificing, well, there's been talk of that in the DE club, but only about sacrificing cocks. Virgin cocks. As for ones I love, well. I can't remember whether or not I have a family. But I wouldn't kill them. Certainly not.
Colin: Virgin cocks? how can you tell if a chicken is a virgin or not?
eric: Ask the sturdy Slytherin bloke! I honestly haven't got the slightest clue. But isn't a cock like a male chicken? So it wouldn't be a chicken-- ah, nevermind.
Colin: Well even so its not like you can point at one and say " ah that ones a virgin" I'm not even sure if male chickens have.... things
eric: Me neither. I'll have to ask Professor Snape next time I have Sex Ed with him.
Colin: Yes I have sex ed with him as well, he makes things very disturbing!!!
Ok my next question, during your time in the Junior DE have you set fire to any muggle babies? killed any one? or learned any deadly curses?
eric: Are you kidding? He's an excellent teacher! Well, I did say f*** when I dropped my biscuit in my tea, but no one died!
Colin: YOU SAID THE F WORD, OMG my mother would kill me!!!!!
eric: Well, seeing as I can't remember mine, I don't know what she'd say. I don't where I learned that word. It just came sort of ...naturally.
Colin: Have you sought medical advice for your memory loss Eric?
eric: Yes, I've signed up for that ..ahh, his name was Goyle, I think, his psychotherapeutic --thingies.
Colin: I AM SO SICK OF HIM STEALING MY IDEAS, the closet thing was MY IDEA you know and he steals all the credit!!!... ahem
eric: That's rather evil of him.
Colin: Well he's a DE so it comes naturally, It stands for Death Eater Eric, thats what it means!!
eric I know. Splendid, isn't it?
Colin : last question, in your post you said only some of the rumors surronding slytherin are true, which one of these rumors happens to be true?
eric: Slytherin dormitory in Friday nights, I said. And yes, well, you know the rumors. It's not your regular study club! I think I might've picked up the f-word using from that one night I hid in the dark corner, too scared to leave... Wow, the mere memory of it makes me shudder. Anyway! For details, maybe you should ask some of your Slytherin friends.
Colin: wait a second what exactly happened Eric? DID IT INVOLVE CRABBE???
eric: The dancing guy? No, I don't think so. I'm not sure, though. You can't recognize people very well when they're hooded and naked underneath the flowing robes.
Colin: OH GOD....naked? did you see any bits???
eric: But I'm pretty sure they don't do that EVERY Friday. It was probably just some sort of a celebrational thing.
eric: I saw a bit of skin, yes.
Colin: OH GOD
Colin: you poor poor dude!!!
eric: It's not that bad! I have more nightmares about the Hitler person on that porno.
Colin: You know Hitler is a lot like You Know Who
eric: I should hope not! Do they both speak that ugly language?
Colin: Well no, you should quit the DE as soon as you can and join the drama club. Hitler and You Know Who have very similar beliefs.
eric: Oh, so You Know Who also believes that all young girls should be brought to him for a special "talk" that doesn't involve any talking apart of feverent moaning?
Colin: OH GOD
eric: Icicle hasn't made you watch those tapes yet?
Consider yourself lucky, tiny dancer. Very, very lucky.
Colin: er well no, I've kinda well been hiding from her for a month now, AND I AM NOT TINY, WHY DOES EVERY ONE KEEP SAYING THAT???
eric: You're just shorter than the average! It's not an offensive thing to say. Your tininess may prove to be beneficial to you some day! And hey. It's not the size, it's how you work it.
Colin: I am so sick of people calling me short just because I'm not bloody six foot tall, there are lots of men who are MY HEIGHT, LIKE TOM CRUISE I cant talk to you anymore Eric, you've really offended me!!!
eric: Aw, don't be angry. I didn't mean to upset you.
Colin: NO this interview is over!!!
eric: Okay, let's make it that. But don't leave all angry. You'll lose your appetite!
Let's shake hands! Come on, mate. Please?
Colin: Fine, we'll shake hands but the interview is OVER
Eric: Alright. See you around!

Current Mood: still in pain.
Friday, November 5th, 2004
9:03 pm
[paparazzi_colin]
World According to Colin Creevey Issue: Oh who cares?
Editorial.

When I was seven years old my grandmother died and my mother spent six days crying in her bedroom while dad tried to do everything else.
He told me once that when people you love die it feels as if part of you has disappeared and it will never come back.
I never understood what he meant until now.
Some of you may think it's stupid to get so upset over something that was never alive to begin with but how would you feel if your favourite possession in the whole world was destroyed by some pratt playing some prank on you?
We all have objects that mean the world to us, I know of at least two fifth years who still sleep with their teddy bears.
It's terrible when they're lost or thrown away, but in my case my personal property was destroyed in a vindictive act of cruelty by a known junior death eater.
Not only did this seventh year student take my property without my permission he brutally destroyed it for no real reason at all.
The young man in question even joked about it claiming he would pay me if my property was destroyed.
It is sickening to think that there are such vandals in Hogwarts who would destroy a poor boys most valuable possession just because they think it's funny.
But despite this horror thats befallen upon me I refuse to forget the music which once rang through the Gryffindor Common room, I refuse to forget about the message the Spice Girls enforced even if it will take me months to find a replacement CD.
I'm not even sure if I ever will buy another album, it would be like spitting on the memory of the old one.
But I will not let this travesty go unmarked, I am already making plans for a Spice Girls Album memorial park and I will be holding a memorial service ( with the future head girl Pansy Parkinson's approval) and it will be held under the Gryffindor tower on Monday the eighth of November.
The memorial service is welcome to every one who was ever touched by the Spice Girls and their music, accept for George/Eric he can just burn in hell.

Current Mood: depressed
Sunday, October 17th, 2004
1:26 pm
[paparazzi_colin]
World according to Colin Creevey issue three volume one.


It's obvious to anyone who has half a brain that recently an unexplainable bought of insanity has hit Hogwarts.
In the past month there has been a comprehensive list proving that the students of Hogwarts are suffering from mental distress.
These include.

1: George Weasley suffering from split personality disorder and becoming convinced that his name is Eric.

2: His twin Fred Weasley having frequent homicidal sounding conversations with his teddy bear.

3: There younger brother Ron Weasley carrying on some sort of unusual friendship with the giant squid.

4: There sister Ginny Weasley vanished for nearly two weeks and when she returned she smelt like horse dung and looked like one of the cave women from planet of the apes.


And before you accuse me of pinning this insanity on the Weasley family the list also includes non Weasley students who have displayed less then rationale behaviour.
These include.

1: Cho Chang choosing to have a relationship with a walking corpse.

2: Harry James Potter has been laughing hysterically for nearly a week and a half and as of yet has not stopped once to breathe.
Madame Pomfrey to this date is still trying to cure his hysteria and it is not working.

3 Ms Millicent Bulstrode has inexplicably given up on the love of her life Ron Weasley and yet she still continues to wear a Ronald Weasley t shirt.

4: Vincent Crabbe was reported to be standing on the astronomy tower three days ago singing Gresham Jazz tunes in a very lovely soprano voice according to witnesses.
Upon questioning this behaviour Vincent Crabbe began babbling about angels

5: Mr Anthony Goldstein has made obscure threats to Hermione Granger which include shaving her bald.

6: Mr Seamus Finnegan now seems to think he is some sort of British Jane Austin type of lord.

7: Students have frequently been reporting odd occurrences involving invisible ghosts chasing them across the hall ways and fire balls streaking down the corridors.

There can only be one explanation, some one has been slowly drugging the food at Hogwarts causing wide spread hallucinations and delusions.
I believe that there is an international drug ring working its way into Hogwarts by slowly drugging everything we consume until we all become drug addicts.
Through further information I discovered that one of the members of this organisation happens to be a student at our very school.
Due to legal and ethical reasons I cannot name him, so for the purpose of this article I will refer to him as Mr Z.

Mr Z has recently admitted to drugging food at social functions and it's my belief that he hasn't stopped there.
Mr Z is Italian which obviously means that he is some how connected to an international crime organisation which most likely has its own drug ring.
On sight intelligence reports based on my personal observations and evidence given by one Dennis Creevey has only supported this fact.
It's my believe that Mr Z has been placing large amounts of hash, crack, and cocaine into our food supply aided by a house elf whose name for legal reasons I will not mention.
None of us are safe from this fiend, its my belief that he has managed to infiltrate all meals and the only choice we have is to starve to death or become drug addicts!
If it wasn't for the supply of cookies that have recently been sent to me through the mail I would have starved to death or been forced to consume this crack addled food.
We must shun the food that Hogwarts has provided us until the drug threat has passed!!
Either that or we could kidnap Mr Z, hit him on the head until he passes out then send him to Tasmania without anyway of contacting anyone.
It's only fair.
After all, drug dealers are criminals too.


Current Mood: frustrated
Saturday, October 9th, 2004
7:18 pm
[paparazzi_colin]
The world according to Colin Creevey issue 2 volume 1.

Why old fashioned cameras are bastards that deserve to be crushed.

There has been much debate lately over the sudden upsurge of digital cameras, many classical photographers fear that they will soon replace the standard SLR camera and that practices such as film developing, burning, sepia toning and dark rooms will become obsolete once imaging programs are perfected.
I myself was a big SLR fan proffering to do things the old fashioned way, feeling that I was some how enacting what my fore fathers would have wanted when they first took blurry crappy ghost like pictures of upper class babies in London.
But now I have realised the truth, SLR camera's are all insensitive lying violent ugly minded piggish bastards who deserve to be thrown onto the scrap heap of photographic history, along with the funny camera's that you had to duck behind big bloody sheets in order to take a decent photo.
The thing with SLR camera's is you can never be sure how the film will develop.
You think every thing is peachy keen, you spend hours working on a perfect shot setting everything up and you think it's wonderful, you know that it's perfect, you press on the shutter completely satisfied.
Then suddenly when you develop the film the photo is filled with nasty surprises, the light is completely wrong, its to bright, or to dark, some body moved at that exact second ruining the shot, ruining your entire perfect photo.
But with a digital camera with it's screen function you can see if the photograph has been ruined strait away and if thats the case you can delete it and start afresh.
A digital camera doesn't try to keep things from you until they blow up ruining a whole days work.
Digital camera's also have the handy delete function, if you no longer want a photo you can get rid of it instantly and its gone forever, the memory is gone forever just like that, it is simple and it's clean.
With a classic SLR camera it is much more difficult to destroy a photograph, even if you rip the print into tiny little pieces it will still remain in tiny little pieces that will still remind you of what you once had.
Even if you burn the pieces into ashes making the fire a funny green color the ashes and the smell will still stay in your clothes for days and days and you will still remember what the photo was.
The film still exists and anyone could find it and make copies of it reminding you of the fact that you don't want the photograph to exist anymore.
Even if you manage to destroy the print completely the film still remains and the film is far more difficult to get rid of, while trying to destroy it you might have doubts and may decide to keep it aside for a rainy day.
This is stupid because if the photograph is ruined and wants to stay ruined holding onto the negatives wont change that.
The ability to instantly delete something is so so so so much better then having to go through all the work of slowly destroying something until it's just little little bitty bits.

So I like many camera lovers have come to a decision, I have decided to get rid of my old camera and replace it with a canon digital camera which has the ability to download photographs strait to my computer.
I will miss my old camera for it showed me a side of the world I never would have dream of being possible, but alas, I can no longer trust it!!!
I have decided that it is safe to say that unless it's a matter of the gravest emergency I will never use my old camera again.
It is going into the bin, seriously it is.
It will.
I'm going to go throw it away right now.

Current Mood: sad
Saturday, September 25th, 2004
12:24 pm
[paparazzi_colin]
World According to Colin Creevey Editorial, Issue One: Volume One.

There comes a time in every mans life where he must cross the line between good and evil, where for the reasons of sanity he must kill.
For to long I have been dancing towards my fate and now I've decided it's time to take fate into my own hands.
Miss Luna Lovegood claims that I've been dancing for seven days strait although I'm sure that I've been dancing for much longer.
And why you may ask? I have been dancing to prove to the world that just because Harry Potter happens to be the saviour of the wizarding world that does not mean he has the right to take what belongs to me I'm also dancing for world peace but lets not get into that.
I have also been dancing because our esteemed judge refuses to make a decision, he is toying with each and every one of us, manipulating us, forcing us into roles we never asked for.
For far to long I have kept quiet about the evils of the sorting hat, about it's need to segregate houses and harbour hostility for US ALL.
Slytherins hates Gryffindors, Ravenclaws hate everyone, No one cares about the Hufflepuffs, and WHY BECAUSE THE SORTING HAT DECIDES OUR DESTINIES WHEN WE ARE ELEVEN YEARS OLD.
What if for example Harry Potter was destined to marry Gregory Goyle but due to the sorting hat forcing them into different houses they will never meet and fall in love!!!!
What if Justin Finch Fletchy was supposed to marry Ms Parkinson but was dumped after the first six months in their relationship because being a slytherin she could never really consider dating a Huffle Puff???
Do not let the sorting hat fool you with it's whimiscal songs and its, patchy brim, it is determined to keep us all seperate because it is terrified of the POWER WE ALL POSSESS.
It is terrified of a world where we all love each other and it is terrified of a world with PUPPIES IN IT.
Now the sorting hat has gone to far, by refusing to judge the dance off it is forcing two bright young boys ( I think I'm one of them) to dance to their graves.
WE MUST ERADICATE THE SCHOOL OF THIS EVIL.
I am going on a quest as soon as the room stops spinning where I will destroy the sorting hat once and for all, only then will our lives be free of the hatred he has pumped into our veins like a silver pump into the mouth of a werewolf on the night before a full moon.
ONLY THEN WILL THE TRUTH SET US ALL FREE.

Current Mood: RIGHT
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